Early Video of Mitt Romney Surfaces in Bain Files

Early video of a young Mitt Romney has surfaced in the files of Bain Capital. The video, taken at a Bain party thrown to celebrate the recovery of Bain Capital's investment in a company through a dividend recapitalization just months before that company filed for bankruptcy, featured skits performed by the senior partners of the firm.

The name of the person responsible for releasing the video to the press has not been revealed. Close inspection of the video, however, confirms that the performer is unquestionably Mitt Romney.

The lyrics to the song follow the video.



How ba-a-a-ad can I be? 
I'm just doing what comes naturally.  
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? 
I'm just following my destiny.  
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? 
I'm just doing what comes naturally.  
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? 
How bad can I possibly be? 

Well there's a principle of nature (principle of nature) That almost every creature knows. Called survival of the fittest (survival of the fittest) And check it this is how it goes. The animal that eats gotta scratch and fight and claw and fight and punch. And the animal that doesn't, well the animal that doesn't winds up someone else's lu-lu-lu-lu-lunch (munch, munch, munch, munch, munch) I'm just sayin'. 

How ba-a-a-ad can I be? 
I'm just doing what comes naturally.  
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? 
I'm just following my destiny.  
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? 
I'm just doing what comes naturally. 
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? 
How bad can I possibly be?  

There's a principle in business (principle in business) That everybody knows is sound. It says the people with the money (people with the money) Make this ever-loving world go 'round. So I'm biggering my company, I'm biggering my factory, I'm biggering my corporate size. Everybody out there, take care of yours and me? I'll take care. of. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. (shake that bottom line) Let me hear you say 'smogulous smoke' (smogulous smoke) Schloppity schlop (schloppity schlop) Complain all you want, it's never ever, ever, ever gonna stop.  

Come on how bad can I possibly be?  
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? 
I'm just building the economy.  
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? 
Just look at me pettin' this puppy.  
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? 
A portion of proceeds goes to charity.  
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? 
How bad can I possibly be? Let's see. 
(How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) 
All the customers are buying.  
(How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) 
And the money's multiplying. 
(How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) 
And the PR people are lying.  
(How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) 
And the lawyers are denying. 
(How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) 
Who cares if a few trees are dying?  
(How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) 
This is all so gratifying.  
How bad. How bad can this possibly be!?

Reports that the backup singers were Paul Ryan, Eric Cantor, and Rod Blagojevich have not been verified.