Saturday, May 23, 2009

Paranoia as Policy

I had a new post written about the hilarity of the Guantanamo hysteria, but once again, Gail Collins stole my next column and got it published in the New York Times.

To judge from the salsa ads, no 10-gallon hat out there thinks much of New York City, so it is especially delicious to hear a New Yorker calling them wimps. Of course, the hats don't read the New York Times; but it'll get back to them.

And, hey, look at the bright side – it's another reason to buy more guns, to protect yourself from terrorists held in maximum security prisons.

Paranoia strikes deep.
Into your life it will creep.
It starts when you're always afraid.
Step out of line, the men come and take you away.

Addendum: I allowed myself to use several stereotypes in this post. I am not proud of myself for that.

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