Tuesday, October 08, 2013


Washington, D.C. – A Grey-Haired Sane Republican (Sanus Republicanus), a species not seen in years, and which most Americans had assumed to be extinct, has been sighted in the Commonwealth of Virginia.

Experts across the country were skeptical of early reports of the sighting, intimating that uneducated amateurs were behind them. Sanus Republicanus shares some characteristics with Tertio Modo Democratus (popularly known as Third-Way Democrats), they argued, and an untrained eye could easily confuse them.

The arguments ended, however, when this video of a Sanus Republicanus in its natural habitat was presented at this year's annual meeting of the American Political Science Association (APSA).

Although the specimen is undeniably a Grey-Haired Sane Republican, experts are no less concerned about the viability of the species. This is, after all, only one. A special committee of the APSA is formulating plans for a breeding program, should a female of the species ever appear.

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